LOVEHONEY Main Squeeze Heavy Double Kegel Balls $199 at Lovehoney Buy Now Restraints Now that we’ve slung every last dildo over our shoulder like a Kipling fanny pack, we’re ready to get into some tantalizing BDSM (bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism) toys and savoir faire. One of the most common accessories of the kink, amongst beginners and experts alike, are restraints. Typically, beginners may enjoy starting off with Velcro hand-cuffs or cloth ties before moving onto more advanced handcuffs such as the Orion, which not only acts as a pair of belt-adjusted handcuffs, but is also capable of being slung over the door for some extra kinky times. UNBOUND BABES Orion Over the Door Restraint Set $39 at Unbound Babes Buy Now Nipple Clamps We were given nipples for a number of reasons, but our favorite might just be horny clamping. Nipple clamps, such as these bad boys from Bondage Boutique, walk the line between sex toy jewelery and BDSM accessory, because they’re designed to lightly pinch your nips (and sometimes, your clit) and are often secured to a stylish collar or chain that would make you the belle of the ball at any Berlin Diskothek.
BONDAGE BOUTIQUE Adjustable Nipple Clamps with Double Chain $199 at Lovehoney Buy Now ADVERTISEMENT Gags Gags can take on many forms in BDSM play, but most commonly as a cloth gag around the mouth, or as a gag with a bar or a ball gag. Typically, the sphere or bar will be made of a body-safe silicone, as other materials might damage those pearly whites of yours. This gag is great for beginners, as it has a few extra holes in the ball for extra breathability. ZHEXU Beginner's Ball Gag $52 at Amazon Buy Now Paddles & Riding Crops Who doesn’t like a little spanking, now and again? Whether your dom is using a 16-inch bamboo paddle, riding crop, or a spanker that looks like it was made out of Furbies, these are great sex toys for a little kinky foreplay, or even a game of shuttlecock. This silver paddle has a 7-star rating on Lovehoney because it’s great for seasoned spankers and beginners alike; one side is made out of a padded satin and the other is a firmer faux leather.
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY Twitchy Palm Spanking Paddle $281 at Amazon Buy Now $399 $50 at Lovehoney Buy Now E-Stim Toys Erotic electrostimulation (E-stim) is a kink in which a person enjoys receiving or giving a bit of light electric stimulation through electrically endowed paddles, wands, and patches. It’s important to practice this kink correctly, but once its parameters are understood, it can make for some fun horny Frankenstein roleplay. ELECTROSHOCK E-Stim Paddle $796 at PinkCherry Buy Now Pinwheels …Not the kind you find blowing in your aunt’s garden. These spiky pinwheels or “Wartenberg” wheels are very common in people with a sexual medical fetish, or anyone with an especially sensory kinky side to them. As with every sex toy—and especially those falling under the traditional BDSM umbrella—be sure to use them correctly by applying only the slightest pressure to yourself or your partner, and never inserting them into your body.
UNBOUND BABES Spike Sensation Play Pinwheel $18 at Unbound Babes Buy Now Sex Furniture Our honorable mention goes to sex furniture, otherwise known as anything you can grind or bang on, because so many folks first sexual toy/accomplice was a pillow—and look how far the humping and grinding sex toys have come since then! Brands such as Liberator make firm pillow wedges designed to be placed under your back or below your stomach for deeper penetration and more comfortable sex. As a certified sex educator, I get a lot of questions about sex toys. Like, a lot, a lot. For now, let’s distill my inbox’s most prominent sex toy–related inquiry: “There are so many different kinds of sex toys. How do I know which one I want? And what are the differences? Are there any? What am I doing? Help me!”
The thing is, when it comes to sex toys (and sex education in general, if I’m being honest), there just isn’t a lot of good, trustworthy information out there. Why? There are a lot of reasons, mostly to do with shame. There are countless problems with sexual shame and our society’s fraught relationship with it, but sex toys can be especially confusing. If you want a vibrator and you buy a dildo, you’re going to be disappointed. If you buy a vibrator that isn’t made for anal play and use it for anal penetration? You could wind up in the emergency room. What’s more, the Food and Drug Administration doesn’t regulate sex-toy materials in the U.S. This means that companies can make sex toys out of whatever the hell they want with very little consequence. Read: Companies can make sex toys that go in your body out of materials that aren’t safe for your body—such as jelly or low-grade rubber. Don’t worry: We have all the information you need so you can go forth on your sex-toy journey prepared and armed with information. Because you deserve to know what’s making you orgasm. Vulva Toys: Dildos vs. Vibrators What’s the confusion? The shape. The classic dildo and rabbit vibrators (of Sex and the City fame and still the most popular sex toy for vulva owners) both have a long, phallic shape. They look relatively similar and are both made for penetration, so they are often mixed up. Let’s break them down:
Dildos: A dildo is a long, cylindrical sex toy that, in its most basic form, looks like a penis. Luckily, there are now so many different shapes, sizes, and colors that the scary penis-centric image of the dildo has transformed. People still buy real-dick-looking dildos, but you have options. The notable thing about dildos is that they don’t vibrate. “A dildo is a phallic-shaped object that can be inserted into an orifice,” Kenneth Play, an international educator and sex hacker, tells TheBody. And, sometimes, they are curved to reach the G-spot area. Vibrators: What makes a vibrator? You guessed it—they vibrate. Vibrators are, in my opinion, the most nuanced and complex category of sex toys because there are a zillion different shapes and sizes. They are designed for either external or internal use (or both), depending on their shape and size. It’s important to note that while a vulva/vagina toy might be designed for external or internal use, you can experiment and use them for one or the other, or both. The vagina is a closed-off canal. Your toys won’t get lost, I promise!
bondageWho doesn’t love a good subcategory, amiright? Let’s break them down (again). External vibrators (bullets, finger vibes): These toys are used for external stimulation of the clitoris. “Both bullet and finger vibrators are small enough to fit in the palm of your hand,” erotic educator Taylor Sparks tells TheBody. “The ones called bullet vibrators tend to be shaped like ... bullets or at least are cylindrical in shape. Finger vibrators are similar to bullet vibes but have a loop so that you can slip it on your finger and it becomes an extension of your own hand. You can find them both at varying speeds and intensities.” Internal vibrators (G-spot wands): Internal vibrators have the same “phallic,” cylindrical length of a dildo, only they vibrate. What’s more, they are usually shaped with a curved head, designed to reach the G-spot area. “Some vulva owners like the feeling of the vibrations on their G-spots, while others may enjoy it being rubbed back and forth or round and round. So a G-spot vibrator can be used to stimulate this area on or off,” says Sparks, who is the founder of Organic Loven, the largest Black, indigenous, and people of color (BIPOC)–owned online intimacy shop. Dual vibrators (rabbits, dual wands): As mentioned, the rabbit is the most popular form of vibrator to this day, thanks to Samantha Jones. Dual vibrators combine clitoral and G-spot stimulation for a full, internally and externally stimulating experience. They have a vibrating, cylindrical base and an attached, external head designed to reach the glans clitoris. Some vulva owners love them, some don’t. Get curious and experiment.
Anal Toys: Anal Beads vs. Anal Dildos vs. Anal Plugs Anal toys are in their own special category for one big reason: safety. The anus has two rings: the outside ring (the one you can flex when you tighten your butthole) and an inner ring, which we cannot control. The inner ring has truly astonishing sucking power—it can take toys right up and away. Anal toys are specifically designed to avoid this pitfall: They have a flared base, designed to act as a stopper. All forms of butt toys come in both vibrating and non-vibrating versions. Read the toy’s description before you purchase. Let’s break them down: Anal plugs: Anal plugs look like, well, plugs. Butt plugs have a flared base. Never, ever put anything up your bum that doesn’t have a flared base. From this article to God’s ears. “They tend to be tear-shaped with a wide base to keep them from being ‘sucked up’ into the anal canal. They come [in] vibrating and non-vibrating [models] and in many materials—silicone, glass, and even wood,” Sparks explains. Anal dildos: Anal dildos are usually best paired with a strap-on for pegging. They fit into a harness (such as the cloth harness from SpareParts) and can be used for anal sex. They look very similar to classic dildos—only they have a flared base. Start with smaller anal dildos before moving up to bigger sizes. Communicate with your partner and let them know if anything feels uncomfortable. Anal beads: “Anal beads come in a string of beads, like on a bracelet,” Play tells us. The idea is to insert the beads, one at a time, to stimulate the nerve-rich anal opening. When you’re about to orgasm, you (or a partner) can remove the anal beads one at a time. This can increase your sensation. Play notes that you should always choose anal beads that come with a flared bottom, so you don’t lose them up your bum.
I cannot stress this enough: FLARED BASES FOR BUMS ONLY. Penis Toys: C*ckrings, Masturbation Sleeves, etc. Lastly, we would be remiss not to mention toys designed for penises. Penis toys are important to understand before using them, but they come with fewer risks. You’re not going to lose a penis ring up your urethra the way one might lose a non-anal dildo up a tight sphincter. Let’s break them down: C-rings: C*ckrings are rings that go around the base of the penis to restrict blood flow. This can help with greater control over climax, longer erections, and more intense orgasms. Be sure that the c-ring you’re using is made of body-safe or medical-grade silicone. Use a reliable, water-based lubricant to help with friction. Do not exceed 20 minutes when using one, as this can cause injury.
Masturbation sleeves: Masturbation sleeves are exactly what the name says: A sleeve for masturbation. Its most rudimentary model might be familiar: the Fleshlight. The Fleshlight is designed to look like a vagina or anus. It has a bad reputation as being seedy and weird, but I chalk this up to our culture’s shame around sex. Men and all penis owners have every right to pleasure and orgasms, too. Plus, you don’t need to get a grimy-looking toy anymore. Sex-toy company Tenga has taken the lead in creating masturbation sleeves that are truly works of art. Party on! Vibrators: Vibrators are made for vulvas, but they can be used for penises too! They are versatile—so long as you’re keeping them away from your anus. Try using a wand vibrator on the head of your penis and see how it feels. Don’t forget lube! If your sex life is feeling a bit stale, or ...well ... just not getting the job done, you're not alone. The FDA reports that 43% of women have some form of sexual dysfunction — which is higher than the number of men (31%). Sometimes, there's a biological or psychological cause. But if you're simply in a slump, or sex has slipped off the relationship priority list, sex toys are one way to amp up a woman's sexual pleasure and help her reach orgasm. In a recent Harris Poll survey, 71% of women ages 18 to 34 agreed that using sex toys added intimacy in the bedroom. Even better? They've never been so tech smart, better designed, or more widely available.
Lou Paget, a certified sex educator and best-selling author based in Los Angeles, isn't surprised by a recent surge in interest in toys. "We've seen a definitive change in attitude where there is recognition that a woman's pleasure matters," she explains. "Sex toys can play an important role in boosting a women's abilities to really enjoy themselves during sex." So whether you're trying it for the first time, or you've got some experience under your belt, we've got a suitable enhancer for you. 1 Want to test the waters? most convenient sex toys emojis DANA TEPPERGETTY IMAGES Before you head to the adult novelty shop, look around: Chances are, you have something in your house right now that will do double duty as a pleasure enhancer. Paget suggests looking to your bathroom for potential stimulators. "A hand-held, detachable shower head or Jacuzzi jets can be arousing," she says. Start slow and use indirect pressure to the area around your clitoris, but not direct, until you have a sense of how it feels. Her advice for the beginner: Take baby steps and try basic toys first. And remember to have fun! "As adults, our ability to play is driven out of us and we lose it," explains Paget. "We like gadgets in the kitchen and outside of the bedroom, so why not take the opportunity to enjoy them in the intimate part of our lives, too?"
2 Planning some solo exploration? curious novice sex toys DANA TEPPERGETTY IMAGES To kick-start your libido, there are tons of easy-to-use options for novices and experts alike. One classic, the Rabbit,was best known for its role in a Sex in the City episode. Now the Happy Rabbit 2 G-Spot has been entirely revamped to provide more clitoral stimulation via its "ears" and a whopping 150% surge in power. Kudos also for the extra quiet motors – ideal for not disturbing your partner sleeping next to you. And if you're with a partner but not feeling, well, satisfied, New Yorkers Alex Fine and Janet Lieberman came up with a solution. Their company, Dame Products, is geared "to empower the sexual experiences of woman kind." Their first product, Eva, is a hands-free, strap-free, non-intrusive vibrator created with clitoral stimulation in mind. Intended to be used by a couple, it's held in place by pressure between bodies (or just the touch of a finger.) Whatever the sex toys, Paget suggests "practicing" by yourself first, even if you plan to use them with a partner. Get acquainted with how they work and feel. Also important to keep in mind (especially for a vibrator like the Rabbit) is a good lubricant. You'll be more comfortable with whatever you're using when things slip and slide easily, Paget advises. A water-based one has easy cleanup if it gets on your bed sheets, or a silicone-based formula works best if you're in the tub or shower. Oil-based lubes (like baby or coconut oil) are not compatible with condoms. Still others have tingling, warming or cooling sensations.
Advertisement - Continue Reading Below 3 Looking for another sensation? oral sex emoji sex toys DANA TEPPERGETTY IMAGES Sadly, not all partners are adept at providing good oral sex. Jaw cramping and bad technique might leave you thinking about tomorrow's to-do list, instead of what you're actually, you know, doing. Try a little helper: Oral sex simulator Sqweel 2 became an earth-shattering success among women. It doesn't vibrate or thrust but features a wheel of realistic-feeling "tongues" that rotates to send arousal levels soaring. Or, Lelo's ORA 2 is a smaller, vibrating option to try. 4 Interested in role play? sex toys 101 DANA TEPPERGETTY IMAGES Ever since Fifty Shades of Grey got couples thinking kinky, more have wanted to incorporate a little whip-and-chain action into their sex lives. Role playing is a classic starting point. You can incorporate handcuffs, costumes ("yes, sir, Mr. Officer"), or a variety of other playful options without veering into total BDSM territory (unless both partners want to go that route, of course.)
bondage gear UKIf you're a total newbie, or the idea of being completely restrained is a little scary, you might want to dabble in some "vanilla kink," as Paget calls it. Try using a long ribbon of toilet paper to tie up your partner, or vice versa. If it's not titillating, one quick tug and you're free. Ready to stock your adult toy box with some goodies? Adventurous twosomes can get the essentials for a foray into light BDSM with a Fifty Shades of Grey Hard Limits Bed Restraint Kit, Hard Limits Bed Restraint Kit, complete with blindfold, adjustable Velcro ankle and wrist cuffs. If you're doing a re-creation of a certain steamy scene from the movie, then you will, of course, need these: Nipplettes Vibrating Nipple Clamps. Paget's biggest advice is to keep an open mind — and it's okay to stop when you feel uncomfortable. "Anytime you are trying something new, you're a beginner," she says. "Be patient as you explore through trial and error. Listen to what your body is telling you." Advertisement - Continue Reading Below 5 Spicing things up when you're apart? sex toys long-distance DANA TEPPERGETTY IMAGES Sure, technology and sex have been linked since long before Kim Kardashian's viral tape. Meet Siime, the "GoPro of sex toys." It combines the feature of a typical vibrator with a built-in camera and a small light mounted at the tip to capture all the action. Just plug it into your laptop to take video or photos. Share them with your lover, whether that means in bed next to you or across the globe.
6 Hoping to make him — and yourself — happy? sex toys couple DANA TEPPERGETTY IMAGES Some sex toys are meant for him, some for her. Few cater to both, but this one does: The We-Vibe 4 Plus, designed by a Canadian twosome in search of a sex toy that pleased both genders. It has a U-shape with part of the device inserted into the vagina and the other, on the outside, cozying up to the clitoris. A man feels the vibration, too, when he slips inside next to the device. It's even controlled via an app! When considering a gadget like this, Paget says it's important to talk to your partner — beforehand. "Approach a conversation about sex toys with 'I'd like to try this with you,' to ensure that it's an inclusive experience," she advises. "Some partners might be concerned that they might be replaced or feel inadequate, so tread gently." SEX TECH HAS come a long way in the past 10 years—not only in terms of cultural acceptance and awareness, but also technology. Gone are the days of clunky, pink plastic rabbit vibrators and sex toys that feel like knock-off action figures. Today's toys are designed by sex educators, medical professionals, and some of the world’s greatest sexperts. They feature ultra-premium, surgical-grade silicone, robust Bluetooth connectivity, programmable vibration patterns, and multiple motors all designed to help you have a good time.
There’s never a bad time to invest in a little extra self-care. These are some of our favorite sex toys, vibrators, smart vibrators, personal wand massagers, and accessories, all of which we’ve personally tested. There’s something here for everyone, every gender, and every body. The language on these products isn’t always gender-inclusive, but we approached testing with a gender-inclusive mindset, testing these with a variety of different genitals, bodies, and partners. Still don't see anything you like? Be sure to check out our other bedroom-related guides on the Best Sounds for Sleep, the Best Mattresses, and the Best Sound Machines. Updated May 2022: We added the Lelo Enigma, Coconu Lube, added a section on erogenous zones, removed the Lora DiCarlo Ose 2, Fun Factory Laya II, and adjusted prices. Special offer for Gear readers: Get a 1-year subscription to WIRED for $5 ($25 off). This includes unlimited access to WIRED.com and our print magazine (if you'd like). Subscriptions help fund the work we do every day.
If you buy something using links in our stories, we may earn a commission. This helps support our journalism. Learn more. Please also consider subscribing to WIRED Image may contain Screen Electronics Projection Screen and White Board Which Toys Are For My Body? Beyond P & V The sex tech industry has conditioned us to think of toys in terms of male and female, penis and vagina, but that’s reductive, inaccurate, and contributes to a larger narrative about the relationship between genitals and gender. It’s unhelpful and I have a lot of feelings about it. To that end, we opt to be as specific as possible and use anatomical terms to describe individual erogenous zones—and there are way more than just P and V. The vulva is the exterior part of the vagina. It includes the labia majora, labia minora, the urethra, and the clitoris. The clitoris is the center of erogenous nerves in the vulva, and it’s actually much larger than just the exterior portion. Its internal structures extend down to either side of the vagina, which is where you’ll find the G-spot—the area stimulated by toys that curve toward the front of your body.
